It is normal for every one to have feelings of doubts, fears and insecurities sometimes. But when you face a serious situation wherein you feel you are cornered in one side and you think there is no way out, you would just wish you are somebody else. It is always a common thinking of every one that other people are much better than ones self. But the truth is, every one has his own doubts and fears.
How we look at ourselves is important in our personal being. We tend to look at other people and find what is good in them and wish we have the same features as they have. We did not realize that others are feeling the same way about our good personalities too. We never look for what is good in us as others see it and neglect the qualities of our own uniqueness. As a result, we deprive ourselves of the right self-esteem that is due ourselves, instead, all we give ourselves is disappointment and discouragement.
Have you realized now what you made yourself because of those wrong thinking? What are you planning now to do to help yourself out in that poor self impression? To guide you to your way out, why not try to improve yourself by starting to appreciate what lovely qualities you possess?
The first step to self improvement is to accept your own being as yourself. Concentrate on your personalities and forget the features you envy from others. Focus on your own features and develop those that need development. Be determined to change what you can change in yourself. If some features are impossible to change, just put in mind that these features are your own unique assets and that nobody else has it except you and only you. Appreciate yourself, love yourself, be proud of yourself, and respect yourself. Once you do, insecurities and fears will eventually leave you and personality improvements will follow naturally.
Improving one’s self is so important especially with respect to our social environment. Dealing with our family, friends, co-workers, and other people would be difficult if we have poor personality. For example, when you are applying for a position in one respected company, you would need self confidence to attest to the boss that you are qualified for the job. If you lack this important personality, you will end up losing great opportunities. Likewise to your family, if you already have children and you want to discipline them, how can you do it if you yourself are worst than them.
One hard step yet very helpful to self improvement is to open up your self to a friend. Ask your friend all the uncomfortable questions about yourself that you think are weird. A trusted friend will tell you honestly what qualities you need to develop and what poor personalities you need to improve. Be open-minded as you listen and appreciate the honesty of your friend. Once your friend realized how much you want yourself to be improved, he would then support you until the end.
Every one has his own imperfections but some were able to succeed despite of all the imperfections. It’s all a matter of self acceptance, contentment, and how you improved yourself. Improving your own personality would also improve other people who look up to you.
40 Comments
jim
December 29, 2008Great article Reed
We should always be looking at developing ourselves.
Jim
Ron Passaro
December 29, 2008Thanks for the post Reed. It’s a good reminder that there’s always room for improvement!
Dave McIntosh
December 29, 2008Thanks Reed
You are so right. I have just turned 59 and I think of ways to improve myself every day. I enjoy it and I know I am better for it. I love to learn and learning new things is what I enjoy. I work for myself and every job I do is different in some way and that makes life interesting for me. I also enjoy helping others learn and that is way I write my blog Home http://renewall.com , to help other do things they want to do.
Dave
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Carolyn Szymanski
December 29, 2008Thanks for the blog – it wakes you up to realize that we can control our lives if we just think about our life and see ways for improvement. I am in a bad situation right now – no light at the end of tunnel and no money coming in. I feel helpless and hopeless – but I am starting to think outside the box to see how I can change and turn my life around. I’m also realizing that it is OK to ask for help from good friends and from family. Thanks for letting me realize that I am on the right path
Nickolove Lovemore
December 29, 2008Hi Reed,
Continual self-development is indeed critical to our success. However, there is absolutely no need for anyone to envy another person.
Envy is actually a negative emotion. When you feel envy you’re really saying to yourself that someone is better that you or that they have achieved things that you feel you can’t achieve. Envy therefore disconnects you from the very things you desire.
If a person has qualities that you admire then those qualities are also present in you – though they may not be developed to the same degree. You just have to identify, how you are like the person you admire and strive to enhance those positive qualities in yourself.
I’m afraid though, I disagree with the point about being content. I believe that while you need to accept where you are before you can progress, no one achieves greatness by being content – quite the opposite.
It is discontentment that urges us forward and compels us to improve ourselves and achieve success.
Nickolove Lovemores last blog post..Successful Goal Setting for 2009
Hans Fredrik
December 29, 2008Hi Reed,
Wow! That’s one great posting!
You are so right on all “points”!
It surely got me thinking about a few things,
not only about “Me, Myself and I” but also about life – in general…
Thank you for sharing it with me!
Best,
Hans Fredrik
Frankie Teo
December 29, 2008Thanks Reed for the motivation.
Happy coming 2009 !
Regards,
Frankie Teo
http://www.frankieteo.com
Timothy Millar
December 29, 2008Hey Reed, Hope your Holiday is going great! I like the way Nickolove thinks, He has some very good points in his comment along with a great article by you. This is something I read every day and I believe it is appropriate; God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… The courage to change the things I can…and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a Wonderful Day, Timothy Millar
Timothy Millars last blog post..JacobMails Updated, Paid to Read?
kristi qualley
December 29, 2008I found this very helpful. I am looking to the future with optimism and hope. Reed, your blog is always full of great advice and wisdom. Kristi http://amymcfarland.org
Timothy Millar
December 29, 2008Hey Reed, Almost forgot, Thanks to all your knowledge that you have freely given away on this blog I am getting Search Engine Traffic not only on my hubs but on my blog as well. I am starting the new year with a great opportunity at http://www.wowparadise.biz/268 and am looking for a couple of Motivated Team Players or maybe a little advertising assistance. I am building a Team for the Dominance of the Internet in 2009!
I will be Successful, Timothy Millar
Timothy Millars last blog post..JacobMails Updated, Paid to Read?
Ben Jackson(Resolve2)
December 29, 2008Reed this is so true. We must realize if we are not growing then we are not living.We have become stagnant.
Remember to always resolve to accomplish your goals and dreams.
Resolve2
Jay Jenkins
December 29, 2008One of the biggest lessons I had to learn during the early years of my IM journey was to let go of the pretense and get real with myself. It can be difficult, but, oh so beneficial. Only by sitting with yourself and thinking realistically can you get rid of the “coulda” “shoulda” “woulda” stuff that holds you back. The only thing you can really change is this moment, right now.
Gary Keating
December 29, 2008One thing comes to mind when I think of my self
“Procrastination”
Telling my self “just do it now” will get me moving.
This is of course is a self evaluation and this is important to be able to see your self and try and improve your self to do better.
I look inside and try and see what others see.
Gary Keating
Joanne Blevins
December 29, 2008Thanks.. you really have made my day!!!! Happy New Year!!!!
Crazy J
December 29, 2008Great post Reed.
I have experienced what you wrote about many times throughout the past years.
So many people tend to take a “victim” attitude when it comes to self development.
“I’m too fat/skinny or I’m too old/young, etc…” become their mantra and they don’t get to experience the thrill changing for the better.
Most of us think that once we leave high school or college that we don’t need to learn anymore, and that is so far from the truth.
Those institutions just prepare us for the real growth we can experience through continued learning. Development is as important for us as it is for all the technologies we use day to day. If they didn’t develop, we’d be in bad shape.
When you start to learn more and gain confidence in more areas of your life, you will see that your attitude changes as well and life becomes the adventure it is meant to be.
Embrace new things, view yourself as a human “knowledge sponge” and apply and share what you learn and you will start to see what others see in you as well.
Here’s to your developmental wealth.
Cheers, Smiles and Laughs,
Crazy J
a.k.a. Johnny Hollywood
Comedian turned Internet Marketer
Matthew Lord
December 29, 2008It’s always great to read about self-development and goal setting. Reed, I wish you a happy 2009!
http://www.marketingprimetime.com/instantarticles
Al Sinden
December 29, 2008Good post, Reed. This time of year we think about new beginnings for the new year. The challenge we face is that we take the totality of ourselves into the new year.
Look at the phrase: Recycle, Reduce, Reuse
Self-development helps us Recycle old attitudes and habits, Reduce the amount of waste – whether time, money, goods, or negative thoughts – and Reuse the best of who and what we are to produce a new and renewed self able to concentrate on the important things.
Carol Walczak
December 29, 2008So true, learning to love ourselves as we are is the most important thing. Then we can make changes in a positive way. Boy did it take a long time to figure that out!
Wishing everyone a prosperous 2009!
Lloyd Noland
December 29, 2008Hi Reed,
I thought your blog was very enlightening. We all perceive contentment differently and I suppose that is really the key to feeling accomplished. While some may feel the need to stay discontended so as to strive toward greatness, I believe what you are saying is accurate because when you have found contentment you have already found, success. Otherwise you will always be unfulfilled. Contentment is the key to everyones success. Greatness is for Gods. Just my humble thoughts. Thanks
Pat Gunning
December 29, 2008Interspection is often a difficult task as it is human nature and a survival urge to be right. Although the ego tells you no this exercise can be a strengthening experience.
Well written Reed!
Karim
December 30, 2008This post reminded me of the book Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz (EXCELLENT book by the way). In it, he talks about how our self-image affects virtually everything in our life, from how confident we feel, to how much money we make, to our relationships – along with methods to change your self image so that it helps you move towards your goals. If you haven’t checked it out yet, you should definitely give it a go, because it has a lot in common with the points you bring up here. Happy Holidays!
Karim
http://superaffiliatepayday.com
Geoff Dodd
December 30, 2008Absolutely correct, Reed that there are many benefits arising from Self Development. This is our biggest source of leverage. Make a tiny change and see its effect! I have focused on feeling ‘worthy’ and more deserving of earning one million a year and an ‘income vehicle’ for this goal just arrived in my inbox like magic from Ewen Chia. We are promoting this for 2009:
http://ocean.webprosperity.com/
The key is that you must grow into a high self esteem position by pumping NOT iron, but pumping ‘I feel worthy of ____’ and building self-esteem muscles.
THEN trust your intuition, your guides and mentors. Funny thing – these mentors can be remote and virtual and ‘unaware’ of their degree of help!
Geoff Dodd
Australia
normz2
December 30, 2008Good Blog. Thinking positive certainly helps. Tuning your subconscious is the way to go.
John Bonzo
December 30, 2008Hi Reed,
You’ve hit the nail on the head. Success is so many things, but it all starts right there in your head. I hope lots of people took your words to heart. I know I have.
Great work! Happy New Year!
John
Rick Ellwood
December 30, 2008Reed I herd a great quote from Zig Zigler only last week and he said “You don’t have to be great to start but you do have to start to be great”.
Personally Ive read many books and listened to quite a few tapes and cd’s but you get to the stage of realization that you need to put the new information into practice!
Sounds familiar advice when your chasing yet another new online money making system that’s going to help you quit your day job?
I know your gonna have a great 2009 Reed, all the best
Rick
Rick Ellwoods last blog post..Making Babies
Jeff
December 30, 2008Some good points in this post Reed. A little hard to follow, but certainly woth considering.
PV Reymond
December 30, 2008Hi Reed,
I agree with you. It’s a great post.
Nobody is perfect so, don’t try to be perfect. But try to improve yourself.
There is always a better way, many times you think that you are 100% right but it’s not true.
You just have to open your mind and be willing to accept and analyze other people’s opinions to be a better person.
Thanks,
^PV Reymond
http://www.startup-internetbusiness.com
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Terrie Routh
December 30, 2008Good advice Reed. For me self development has been a life long journey, especially in time of economic downturn when more time is on hand.
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Elizabeth Nichols
December 30, 2008Forgetting about ourselves by helping others is a good way to discover our good side, and to take away pointless dwelling on the bad things that happen in our lives.
The more we help others and network with others, the more competent we seem to those around us and the more competent we actually become. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Liz
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Peter Loughlin
December 30, 2008Spot on message, particularly facing the new year. We need to learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves, of course, but self improvement (Physical,mental, emotional, spiritual) is a life-long journey. I’m glad to be on it and your post has reaffirmed this for me. Thank you.
Shawn Horwood
December 30, 2008I believe self improvement is very important. We all have room for improvement, and we all need to be constantly working towards becoming better people.
We will never be perfect, so self improvement/ self development is definitely a life long process.
This is a very useful reminder and a great post Reed.
Shawn Horwood
http://top5-workathome.com/blog/
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Marsha
December 31, 2008Thanks Reed for the useful and helpful tips.
I hope you have a wonderful new year ahead.
Marsha
delords
December 31, 2008Nice Post Reed,
Self development is a key to a lasting SUCCESS in Life
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Geoff Dodd
January 1, 2009Reed, there is massive leverage in self development. Granted. But we can never rest on our laurels of personal growth. The action steps are what rocket us forward into vast rewards as well. Behavioral action is sometimes more the point than, say, spiritual growth and awareness – although I am a believer in that. Actions and measurement of results are what the MJ-style gurus remind us of.
Geoff Dodd
Australia
Melody Baker
January 1, 2009Reed,
Great analysis,
Cheree
January 1, 2009Ahhhhhh, yes… we do tend to compare ourselves with others. We are such a competitive species. When we learn to compete against ourselves — and strive to outperform our previous best — rather than trying to outperform someone else, that’s when we REALLY make progress!
Happy New Year!
Cheree
http://blog.WealthBuildersSite.com
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Ari Lestariono
January 3, 2009All those attachments of doubts, fear, afraid of failure, is only the things we have to face it, I am not saying I am free from those feelings but I practice my mind to be strong and focus, …that’s the only way.
phyllis neff
January 3, 2009what a coincidence that you are talking on this subject. it was more or less one of my new years resolutions! good job Reed!
websites for kids virtual worlds
April 13, 2009Great advice, Reed. Improving oneself will definitely make one a happier and better person.
mac20
July 6, 2009hey its really nice information , but i wann a tell u something accepting yourself sometime its so diffuclty for yrslef in some some cases ,what u tell yourself when u feel some guilty and u really want to accept yrself.
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